50 Shades of (Kill me now!) Grey

Reading this one was a total suicidal mission with eye-pocking and my inner goddess just banged her head on the walls of my subconscious. fifty-shades-of-grey-lip-bite

I actually don’t know how I am still alive after reading this. Fifty shades of please fuck me in the head with a gun, I don’t want to read this shit anymore! Please, anyone, build a time machine, I wanna go back in time and put a condom on E.L. James’ dad before all of this hell and damnation! Ewww, I know, but someone should do it!

This book has no possible-believable-logical plot! This books follows the random fantasies of E.L. who definitely had too much Sandra Brown to read as a kid and remained traumatized and instead of bushy triangles, we have crappy BDSM style of fuckery. 50shadescake

Characters? Better call them Lickers of all the places where our magnificent miss Steel sat her sorry ass. Grey, Juan or whatever his name was… then that supposed future boss… they all praise her for an intelligence she doesn’t posses (but yeah, I suppose E.L. actually looks in the mirror and said: I’m pretty, I’m smart!!) and has an inner goddess that managed to annoy half of the planet and delude another half.

People, that’s not great sex! that’s not even BDSM! Grey is a stupid, perfectly good looking fucker (yeah right, sorry.. wanted to say Edward Cullen)with stalker tendencies who’s absolutely smitten with a retarded, unbalanced and seriously mind-fucked Anna (Bella) and the whole story is about how perfect he is and how hot and fuckable-with-a-tampon-up-her-hole Anna really is(though she doesn’t know.. see… retarded, she doesn’t know how to use a mirror) and a lame excuse to say Charlie Tango 10 times.
He’s a manipulative asshole and she’s a stupid bitch that doesn’t have anything interesting to say, only how beautiful and perfect and oh! so dark and mysterious is this Grey fella.

If you don’t believe me,do the 50 shades drinking game and you’ll get in the hospital with your inner goddess in a profound coma and serious brain damage (alcohol or book?).

I would recommend this book to my worst enemy: read it and burn in hell!50-shades-of-grey

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6 thoughts on “50 Shades of (Kill me now!) Grey

  1. Venom says:

    From all around me I heard how superficial and insulting the book was. Not that I would have read it anyway. Yet I looked into several reviews and passages, and had a discussion or two. Basically, and I cannot stress this enough, “50SoG” does to the BDSM scene what “Twilight” did to the vampire genre.

    Your post only proves my point again (but maybe you should turn down the rantings against the author herself a bit — after all, the hype that pisses me off so much came from the publisher and the readership. Everybody has the right to write a bad book).

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  2. Jane Kelsey says:

    then how about you start reading it first and then say something about it? That’s why I read it so I can give my opinion on it instead of saying it’s crap without reading it, now i can say it’s crap, which it is, after i read it.
    I’ve got no problem with BDSM, I’ve got no problem with erotic books, but I have a big problem with books that are for nothing, that bring nothing into the world, that just exist for their possibilities of bringing pennies without any care and consideration for substance, culture and logic.
    This is my opinion. E.L.James would better be doing something else because there’s not a shred of talent in her. I’m not saying she doesn’t have the right to do it, can’t forbid her (Can i??) to write, but I can express my opinion on the book that’s awful piece of crap. My opinion. After reading it.
    And just because Twilight is another piece of utter crap, I don’t see why this one should get a lighter treatment.

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  3. Venom says:

    Why would I read “50SoG” completely, after all I already read about and from it?

    All the things I stated (I heard bad opinions; I do not like what it does to BDSM; it created the same hollow hype as “Twilight”; I am pissed off by said hype) are valid without me having read the complete book.

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  4. Venom says:

    I just looked over my initial comment again, with one day of distance, and I noticed that it could be read as if I were defending “50GoG” — which is far from the truth. The “Twilight”-analogy, for example, says that first came a flood of half-arsed vampire books and flicks and now the same amount of look-how-kinky-we-are wannabe stuff.

    That’s it. Thanks for letting me clutter up your comment section, Jane.

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